with your own penis?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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