call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
