Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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