Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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