somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
