im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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