She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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