Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
