alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
