he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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