I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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