if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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