There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize