The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
