Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Found your dick twin last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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