That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
