I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
