Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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