Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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