just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
