I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life