Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(909): View more from California

Would you still love me if I had no teeth

(1-909): View more from California

Yeah why?

(909): View more from California

Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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(562): View more from California

I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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(352): View more from Florida

She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.

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