he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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