hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Randomize
