in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..