Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  well its been awhile since I've surfed

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  (813): so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol (1-813): well its been awhile since I've surfed http://tfl.nu/lkwy
  Replies (4) Good night (1984) Bad night (482)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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  (801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq
  Replies (39) Good night (1423) Bad night (4420)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

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  (630): True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen http://tfl.nu/yx2l
  Replies (18) Good night (1027) Bad night (4064)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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  (724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa
  Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (5635)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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  (224): Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped. http://tfl.nu/31qz
  Replies (32) Good night (4029) Bad night (685)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.

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  (850): I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math. http://tfl.nu/a930
  Replies (68) Good night (5115) Bad night (766)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4339) Bad night (1218)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

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  (713): I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes http://tfl.nu/wjig
  Replies (41) Good night (5337) Bad night (987)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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  (781): I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on. http://tfl.nu/begu
  Replies (6) Good night (3830) Bad night (1004)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2455) Bad night (971)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3658) Bad night (976)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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  (919): It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake. http://tfl.nu/4cm4
  Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (1101)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.

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  (910): They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card. http://tfl.nu/0s8y
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (463)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.

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  (905): At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance! (905): I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more. http://tfl.nu/b1ur
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (320)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night

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  (248): Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night http://tfl.nu/efb0
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (440)

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