Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think my vagina is haunted

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  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
  Replies (26) Good night (891) Bad night (3254)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

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  (814): listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week. http://tfl.nu/ufqh
  Replies (20) Good night (4499) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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  (608): the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy <3's balls" is written in sharpie across my forehead http://tfl.nu/cffy
  Replies (24) Good night (1600) Bad night (4622)
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  (213): View more from California

  the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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  (213): the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad. http://tfl.nu/2doo
  Replies (31) Good night (580) Bad night (5296)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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  (407): Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :) (1-407): Mom wtf!? http://tfl.nu/scw1
  Replies (33) Good night (6029) Bad night (1071)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

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  (757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day. http://tfl.nu/wt3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5764) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1648) Bad night (4539)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

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  (914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic. http://tfl.nu/5aat
  Replies (35) Good night (6279) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.

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  (631): Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate. http://tfl.nu/qonz
  Replies (5) Good night (1202) Bad night (2701)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

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  (619): The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!? http://tfl.nu/uvtx
  Replies (5) Good night (2088) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

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  (570): I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce http://tfl.nu/7uec
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1823) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

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  (787): antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/y7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
  Replies (7) Good night (695) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.

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  (787): I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot. http://tfl.nu/430i
  Replies (5) Good night (1527) Bad night (210)

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