Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
