im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My penis needs a shock collar
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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