I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
