You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
