Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
