alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
