she looked like the before picture.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
