That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
