Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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