Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
