A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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