Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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