I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
