Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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