Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
