It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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