dude i'm inner monologue high
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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