The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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