Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
