You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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