I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
