I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
