I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
