this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize