what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
