Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
