shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
