so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
