it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
