omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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