I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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