she woke up with a sticky ear
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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