You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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