fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
