I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
