Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
