Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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