I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize