MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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