Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
now i know why i became what i already was.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
