I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize