just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
