It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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