in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
