More tranny stories later!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
