their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
