I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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