This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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