I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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