that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
