Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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