I cockslap morals
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
