just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drunk is not a location!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize