Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
